Today I finally had enough. My son was supposed to do his homework, which usually takes him 15 minutes, but today it was taking forever. Hours rolled by as he slowly wrote and rewrote every number, over thinking every step. But what made me so angry was that my son knows the material but just didn’t feel like doing it; he was taking his time just to irritate me. I tried everything to convince him: threatening, bribing, taking away privileges, even yelling, but nothing seemed to work. He finally finished his 15 minute homework in 2.5 hours.
After I put him down for the night I decided to do some research. This was not the first episode of laziness that we’ve had, and in the past these episodes did not only pertain to homework. What I was trying to figure out through my research is where this laziness is coming from and how to fight it. I came across an interesting article, which, although originally published in 1916, totally applied to my current situation.
The article suggests that children need to understand what is “in it” for them. “It is the children who have been driven to do the unpleasant things that have no meaning for them who resort to ‘laziness’ as the only escape from the disagreeable tasks.” After reading this, things began to look a lot clearer to me: I need to stop giving my son things when he asks for them and instead make him earn the things he wants.
The article concluded with an interesting thought: “Finally, there are a few children who naturally take to the contemplative life—they are dreamers, poets, philosophers. They have their uses even if they do not do ‘useful work.’” As much as I found the idea that my son might fall into this category and become the world’s next great philosopher reassuring, I don’t really want to test this theory to find out that it may not be true. So instead, I will try to act now and make my son’s homework more rewarding; we’ll see where that gets us.
http://www.oldandsold.com/articles08/children-21.shtml
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