I was on the train last night, when I overheard a conversation between two parents. The father was suggesting that they put a GPS devise into their daughter’s car so that they would be able to know where she is at all times. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. My first thought was “Wow, thank G… I’m not their kid”. My second thought was that the girl in question must drive, making her at least 18 years old, in which case why are her parents still monitoring her so intently and violating her privacy.
I will agree that I do not know the whole story of those people, and they may have a good reason for doing this, however, I was 18 once too and in my opinion, if you still feel the need to monitor your child at 18, then you, as a parent, screwed up somewhere beforehand. I can’t speak from experience as a parent yet, since my kids are still very young, but I can speak from experience as an ex-18 year old. Teens are looking for freedom and independence as they grow; I feel they should receive it, coupled with the additional responsibility. For example, when I got my first “emergency” credit card, I knew there would be a bill at the end of the month which I would have to pay or else I would lose the card.
When my brother got his driver’s license and wanted to buy a new car (instead of using one of my parents’ cars for free) he was given that opportunity, as long as he paid for car himself (my parents would still cover his insurance). Once he had three speeding tickets, the privilege of “free insurance” was taken away and he had to pay for it himself.
I feel that it is our responsibility as parents to teach our kids these types of lessons so that they can make their own decisions. I found some support in the following articles http://life.familyeducation.com/teen/discipline/41515.html
http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/01/09/any-advice-for-jaime/
I know I will probably be somewhat of a “helicopter” parent [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helicopter_parent] (even though I’m trying very hard not to turn into one) but the one thing I can promise my kids is that I will never say no without giving them a reason why and I will never invade their privacy by spying on them.
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